Voices and Old Memories

On Thursday I went to a Jeremy Enigk show with my sister and a friend. I suffered through the opener and her story of peeing outside and her limited use of vocal range and boring choice of chord arrangement by staring blankly towards the stage the same way a mosquito stares at a bug zapper. I was stuck here, I could not escape.

After her too long set, Enigk stepped onto the stage. There were two accoustic guitars, a keyboard, and his microphone. He started his first song with gusto. This was the Enigk we remembered from SDRE. The one we grew up with and stayed true to from Diary to Rising Tide to Return of The Frog Queen. His voice crashed and crescendo like the waves of an epic typhoon.

Half way through the set, I found myself singing along and remembering. It's been about thirteen years since I started listening to this uniquely inspired voice. The lyrics, the melodies, and the memories inspired me as they swirled in the whirlpool of my mind. It was then that I realized why I came.

It was not the venue, the atmosphere, or the friends. It was the voice of something I loved. As I sang along life began to flow into me. The incredible euphoria of purpose tingled in my spine and my memory soared with the experiences tied to the voice. I felt my sister's eyes and that of our friend follow me as I walked briskly to the front. I hestitated for just moment and then threw the yolk of doubt down. This was my field, this was my promised land. I was returning to one of my first loves.

After a few lines, I realized I had forgotten some of the words, but the emotion was the same as the first time I heard the lines. I was reminded that this mirrored the journey of faith for many including myself. A journey of divine revelation of the savior, walking close to Him, being rocked by the storms of life, seemingly walking on water, denying Him, and reconciling.

Just like Peter we rise and fall, sink and are rescued. In the end it is our choice to return to the God who first loved us. In the end we must push past all our works, all our prophesies and miracles just to touch His heart. We must listen to the voice of the Master and return to our first love.